Funny Lines

Funny Lines

I work as a recruitment associate for call centers, and i often encounter funny lines. hey, i'm not laughing at the people. just the lines. here are some of them:

1. I am a flexible and I am perseverance person (when asked to describe her personality)
2. I want to learn more English words. (when asked why he wanted to work in a call center). [Damn! Read the dictionary!]

3. Do you have any extra ordinary positions that I can take for granted (Roughly Translated: Meron po ba kayong ibang position na pwede ko'ng apply-an?)

4. "Ten" (When asked to count from 1 to 40 to measure her articulation)
5. "Kelan Po?" (When asked to count from 1 to 40 to measure her articulation)
6. "I would choose IRATE CALLERS, Sir." (Answer to the question: If you will change the COLOR of the world, what would it be and why?)

7. "I want to entertain and satisfy customers" (hmmm....interesting concept...so...what are you wearing right now?)

8. "I want to expose myself to the customers." (Answer to why he wants to work in a call center") - Flasher ITO!
9. "Is there an opening for a call center?" (Oh so you want to become a call center now huh?)
10. "Hi. Good afternoon, my name is _____, and I'M a call center from the Philippines." (solohin ba)
11. Chocolates, boys with tongue pierce." (An applicants answer to the question: What are your weaknesses?"
12. "I think Grade 3 and 4 students are very childish!" (Answer to the question: What do you think is the most difficult part of teaching Grade 3 and 4 students)

13. "Haller???!!!??? (knocks on the table) THE SALARY!" (Answer to Why do you want to work in a call center?)
14. "I'm a married person, I have 2 children, the same boy"
15. "It's a colorful world." (Describe the shirt you're wearing.)
16. "It's a boomed industry." (So all agents are now dead, I guess)
17. "I like to explore other people." (ay sus...maniac ka ano?)
18. "I want to explore myself more." (Answer to why do you want to work in a call center. bagay sila ni #17...)
19. "Hu u? How did you get my #? Text me back, huri. Send me load." (The audacity of an applicant can sometimes appall you.)

20. "I was scheduled for an exam this morning....I wasn't able to make it...because I WAS TONSILITIS."
21. "Hi Maam, do you have an opening." (Lokong to ah!)
22. "I want to adventure into the graveyard..." (Langya, mahiilig ka sa patay!)
23. "I would like to be a part of the graveyard..." (isa ka pa...thriller...thriller night)
24. "Gd pm sir, im realy sri wen u call me I cnt hear clearly coz d raindrops of d rain is vry noisy. Rgrdng of wat u want 2 knw y u call me?" (A text message from an applicant)

25. "Do you accept walking applicants?" (No, we prefer flying ones)
26. Interviewer: So you're an undergrad. What year are you in right now? Applicant: Oh I'm just here in the house. Interviewer: No, I asked you what year you're in. Applicant: Year? I'm 25 years old! ( Nagkakaintindihan tayo pare...)

27. Applicant: Agency ba to? Interviewer: No sir, head hunting firm. Applicant (turning to friend): Egg-hunting daw pare! (Happy Easter!)

28. "In the middle of my study at Adamson, my father fortunately passed away." (FORTUNATELY???!!!)
29. "Hello, i just want to inquire about the application resume that i planted in the computer..." (Ano ka, farmer?)

30. "May inaantay ako na trabaho kaya gusto ko lang na may mapag LILIBINGAN." (Answer to the question "Why do you prefer a part-time job?" Tagalog na yun ha! Mahilig talaga kayo sa patay!)

Eto pa......

Recruiter: What do you know about the call center Industry?

Applicant: The call ctr. industry is booming out, side by side, somewhere
else. (Huuuwhaaat?)

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Applicant: The call center is a booming industry for the past few days and
I want to part of that boom! (sumabog ka sana!)
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Applicant: It's easy to be a call center, just looks arounds you, that why
i want to become a call center! (building ito!)

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Applicant: Oh im sorry, i sit corrected. (oo nga naman, nakaupo sha eh!)
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Applicant: Im afraid to dead. I feel that im not ready to die.
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Applicant: I usually play PS2 at night when there is no loud.
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Recruiter: You look familiar. I think i already spoke to you before. Do
you remember when you were last here?

Applicant: I think months from now. (psychic ito!)
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Recruiter: Why do you want to work in a call center?

Applicant: From Manila Bulletin. (ang gulo... i drug test nyo na to')

Recruiter: Ah okay, but my question is, why do you want to work here?

Applicant: Well, I graduated from CEU with a course of blahblah.....
(out...out...out....)

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Applicant: I'm a work alcoholic.
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Applicant: I'm the eldest and the only child in our family.
(arrrgggghhh...ADIK KA!)

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Applicant: I'm a hardworking...(yes..please continue...)

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Recruiter : Can you give me 3 values that you can contribute to the
company? Applicant : As a nurse, we were taught at hospital 3 things ...
TENDER.. LOVING ... CARE.. you get what i mean? (OH YES I DO!)
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Recruiter : Can you please count from 1 to 20?
Applicant : starting from 1 ma'am?
Recruiter : UH.. yes
Applicant : (clears throat) wun, chew, tree, four, fibe, zix, zeven,
eight, nine, ten, elevun, twulve, thirTEN, forTEN, fifTEN, sixTEN,
sevenTEN, eighTEN, nineTEN, tweyny Recruiter : Umm... ok, thank you very
much for interviewing with us .... (NAHILO ANG INTERVIEWER)
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Recruiter : Can you please count slowly from 1 to 20?
Applicant : In what language? ( ABA!)
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Recruiter : Why do you want to work as an agent?
Applicant : Agent ho?
Recruiter : Yes. Why do you want to work as a call center agent?
Applicant : Call center ho?
Recruiter : YES. This is a call center. My question is why are you
interested? Applicant : I am willing po.
(GRRRRRR!!!!)
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Recruiter : Why do you want to work in a call center?
Applicant : Because of the big bucks of money.. i want to hab a house...

FROM E-Group