University Jokes

Forwarded lang 'to!!!

please don't take this seriously.. these are just jokes.
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MAHIRAP LAHAT
Sa UP, mahirap ang Math.
Sa Ateneo, mahirap ang English.
Sa La Salle, mahirap ang parking.
Sa Assumption, mahirap ang walang pera.
Sa UST, mahirap umuwi kapag baha.
Sa St. Scho, mahirap sumakay sa LRT
Sa San Beda, mahirap maging lalaki.

WHERE TO GO TO COLLEGE?
If you have a lot of brains and a little money, go to UP.
If you have some brains and some money, go to Ateneo.
If you have no brains and lots of money, go to La Salle.
If you have no money, go to PUP.


pag nabaha:
Ateneo -yuck, dirty
La salle - well i have my car
UST- eewww! may palaka!
UP - basa na naman!
AMA- tara! swimming tayo!

Deodorant:
Ateneo- secret
La salle- sure
UST- rexona
UP- babes
NU- splash deowhitener
PUP- tawas
AMA- dinidikdik na stork, sing lamig pero di sing mahal!

Multivitamins:
UA&P- pharmaton
Ateneo- rogin-e
La Salle- centrum
UST- clusivol
AMA- star rice


Reaction of students to BMW
Ateneo- may dad has one like that
DLSU - Dad buy me naman that
UP - Dad, that is not worth buying
AMA- Tay, pa-picture tayo!

Expressions of Schools
Ateneo- Whatever
DLSU - Duh?! helloooo?!
Assumption- oh my god!
UST - gosh!
UP - ganon?
AMA - chuvachuchu

Tawag sa mga estudyante
Ateneo- Atenista
DLSU- Lasalista or La Sallite
UP- taga-UP
Assumption- Assumptionista
UST- Thomasian
San Beda- Bedan
AMA - Jolinians

Month:
DLSU- february(hearts day)
CRC- december(holidays)
Ateneo- march(graduation)
AMA- april(boys) IDOL!!!

Gimik Places
DLSU- Embassy
ADMU- Fiamma
Beda- mars
CEU- padi
UST- chatterbox
AMA- di nyo kami maaapi ngayon sa Hardrock kami! may Concert si jolina! beeh!

Reaction pagnawalan ng wallet
ADMU- ****! my credit cards are there
DLSU - ****! my 10,000 bucks are gone
UST - pare lisensya ko
AMA - picture ni jolina?!

Buying Cellphone
La salle- iPhone 3g please
ADMU - N95 nga
UP- China Phone
UST - 2 extra batteries
UE- two pieces of P1,000 GLOBE cards
AMA- (pabulong) may brochure kayo?

Expressions pag nakakuha ng funny txt
ADMU- hahaha, funny
DLSU- yeah, right
UP- ****** OK to ah
AMA- ****** tayo na naman ang pinag-uusapan ah!

Reaction ng marinig ang new txt scheme
La salle- bad trip
ADMU- ****
UST- bwisit
CKSC- **** *** ***** [cursing in chinese]
FEU- diyahe naman
AMA- yes, wala ng mang-aasar sa atin

Problematic kids:
DLSU: "****! Walang parking!"
ADMU: "****! Traffic sa Katips!"
CRC: "****! Walang signal!"
UP: "****! Walang jeep!"
CSB: "****! Walang pinasa!"
ASSUMPTION: "****! Walang boys!"

Flowers:
Ateneo: long-stemmed roses
La Salle: tulips
UST: carnation
UP: sampaguita
PUP: gumamela
AMA: paper roses

Favorite car:
ADMU: benz
Beda- bugati
DLSU- acura
UST- ferrari
UP- jaguar
AMA- ****** tama na STI naman, kaya nga pabor kami sa tax sa text e!

In a brainshop, three types of brains were for sale. Ang una, brain ng taga-Ateneo w/c cost Php50,000 --->; kasi if u buy this, ur gonna be an excellent conversationalist. Next is utak ng taga-UP w/c cost Php100,000 --->; kasi you'll have a "future" if u buy this. Yung pinakamahal ay utak ng taga-Lasalle w/c cost Php150,000 --->; kasi slightly used.