Inday Monologues

Dahil sa tindi ng kahirapan sa probinsya,
namasukan si Inday bilang katulong sa Maynila.
Habang ini-interview ng amo...

Amo: Kelangan namin ng katulong para mag ayos ng
bahay, magluto, maglaba, magplantsa, mamalengke,
at magbantay ng mga bata. Kaya mo ba ang lahat ng
ito?

Inday: I believe that my trained skills and
expertise in management with the use of standard
tools, and my discipline and experience will
contribute significantly to the value of the
work that you want, my creativity, productivity
and work-efficiency and the high quality of
outcomes I can offer will boost the work
progress.

Amo: [nosebleed]


Nakaraan ang dalawang araw, umuwi ang amo,
nakitang me bukol si junior.


Amo: Bakit me bukol si junior?

Inday: Compromising safety with useless
aesthetics, the not-so-well engineered
architectural design of our kitchen lavatory
affected the boy's cranium with a slight boil at
the left temple near the auditory organ.

Amo: [nosebleed ulit]


Kinagabihan, habang naghahapunan.

Amo: Bakit maalat ang ulam?

Inday: The consistency was fine. But you see, it
seems that the increased amount of sodium
chloride (NaCl) affected the taste drastically
and those actions are irreversible. I do
apologize.

Amo: [nosebleed na naman]

Donya: Bakit tuwing paguwi ko, nadadatnan kitang
nanunuod ng tv?!

Inday: Because I don't want you to see me doing
absolutely nothing.

Donya: [hinimatay]


Kinabukasan, sinamahan ni Inday si junior sa
principal's office dahil di makapunta ang amo at
donya.

Principal: Sinuntok ni junior ang kanyang
kaklase.

Inday: It's absurd! It was never a fact that he
will inflict a fight. I can only imagine how you
handle schizophrenic kids on this educational
institution. Revise your policies because they
suck!

Principal: [nag resign]


Pag dating sa bahay, nandun na ang amo, galit na
galit.

Amo: Inday, bakit nagkalat ang basura sa likod ng
bahay?!

Inday: A change in the weather patterns might
have occurred wrecking havoc to the
surroundings. The way the debris are scattered
indicates that the gust of wind was going
northeast causing damage to the path it was
heading for.

Amo: [nosebleed ulit]


Habang nagluluto si Inday ng hapunan, malikot si
junior.

Inday: Stop your raucous behavior. It is bound
to result in property damages and if that
happens there will be corresponding punishment to
be inflicted upon you!

Junior: [takbo sa CR, punasan ang nagdudugong
ilong]


Pagkatapos magluto, nanood na ng TV si Inday.
Nabalitaan nya umalis si Angel Locsin sa GMA 7.

Junior: Bakit kaya sya umalis?

Inday: Sometimes, people choose to leave not
because of selfish reasons but because they just
know that things will get worse if they'll stay.
Leaving can be a tough act, and it's harder when
people can't understand you for doing so.

Junior: [tuloy ang pagdugo ng ilong]


Nung gabing yon, me nag text ke Inday. Si Dodong,
ang driver ng kapitbahay, gusto maki pag
text-mate.

Inday: To forestall further hopes of
acquaintance, my unfathomable statement to the
denial of your request - Petition denied.


Di nagla-on, dahil sa tyaga ni Dodong, nagging
syota nya rin si Inday. Pero di tumagal ang
kanilang relasyon, at nakipag-break si Inday ke
Dodong.

Inday: The statute restricts me to love you but
you have the provocations. The way you smile is
the proximate cause why I love you. We have some
rules to think of. We have no vested rights to
love each other because the upper household
dismissed my petition!"

Dodong: Perhaps you are mistaken, what you seem
to contrive as any affections for you are
somewhat half-hearted. I was merely attempting
to expand my network of interests by involving
you in my daily recreation. Heretofor, you can
expect an end to any verbal articulation from
myself"


Me dumaan na mamang basurero, at narinig ang
usapan ni Inday at Dodong.

Basurero (sabi ke Inday): Be careful in letting
go of the things you thought are just nothing
because maybe someday you'll realize that the one
you gave away is the very thing you've been
wishing for to stay.

Narinig ang lahat ng eto ng amo ni inday.

Amo: [nagpakamatay]