Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Best of the Best Beauty Pageant Boo Boos

Host  : Saan ang dream vacation mo?
Girl Contestant : Amangpulo.
 
(Cool siguro doon, ‘no?)
 
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Host  : What was the very first gift that you gave to your girlfriend?
Male Contestant  : Uhmm...taptoy.
Host  :           What taptoy?
Male Contestant   :           Taptoy na teddy bird.
 
(Tap it, tupid! Tutubuan ako ng pangil nito e.)
 
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Host  : What's your ideal age for marriage?
Girl  : Uhm, uhm, I am not sure....
Host :  Hindi, kunwari ikaw, more or less.
Girl :  Uhmm. more.  (Crowd booing... ) Sige, Sige. Less, less....
 
(“Or� na lang, kung di ka makapag-decide…)
 
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Host : If you had a foreigner friend, where will you bring him to showcase the beauty of the Philippines?
Girl Contestant : Bocaue.
Host : Bocaue.  Why Bocaue?  There are so many places in the Philippines?  Why Bocaue?
Girl : Because it's a magnificent place.
Host : Which part of Bocaue?
Girl : The Bocaue Rice Terraces.
 
(Nasa Ifugao na ba ang Bocaue ngayon?)
 
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The contestant, presenting herself, talks into the mic and says, "Hi! I'm Cristine Reyes from Baguio" and then she turns around, walks a little, goes back then yells at the top of her lungs, "CITYYYYYYYY!!!!"
 
(Right. Andrama.)
 
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(From Little Miss Philippines)
Host : Anong gusto mo pag-laki mo?
Girl : Maging lalaki po!
 
(At least kahit bata pa lang siya alam na niya yung orientation niya…)
 
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Host :       Who's your favorite author?
Contestant : Danielle Steele
Host :       Why Danielle Steele?
Contestant : Because, because Danielle Steele, I like best.
 
(Wow, pinag-isipan.)
 
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Host :  How would you like me to address you?
Contestant  : My address is Project 8, Quezon City.
 
(Related kaya siya kay Erap?)
 
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Host :  What is your best feature?
Contestant : My graduation feature.
 
(Isa rin ‘to…)
 
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Host : So tell us, why did join this contest?
Contestant : Me, join this contest, why did I. Thank you!
 
(Eto naman yung autistic na pamangkin ni Yoda…)
 
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Host : What do you want to be after you graduate?
Contestant :I want to be a successful medicine.
 
(Ay, medicine? Duktor, ayaw mo?)
 
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Host : Hindi ito boob, hindi ito tube. Pero tinatawag itong boobtube. Ano ito?
Contestant : BRA!
 
(TV ang boob tube, kapatid. Also known as “idiot box�. E, ikaw…)
 
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Host :           What is you favorite motto?
Contestant  :If others can't why, why can't I!
 
(Why nga ba?)
 
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Host : What would you like to say to foreigners?
Contestant : Please come back.
 
(Puwede na siya sa Department of Tourism!)
 
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(From gay beauty contest)
Host :What is the one thing that symbolizes happiness for you?
Gay contestant :(Stops, thinks and then smiles.) EGGPLANT PO!
 
(Palakpakan po!)
 
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Host :  What is your typical day?
Contestant :I think Saturday po!
 
(Nag-“think� pa siya!)
 
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(From gay contest)
Host:Ano ang advantage mo sa ibang contestant?
Gay Contestant: I think and believe na bilang isang bading......ano nga po ulit yung question?
 
(Mukhang hindi “ability to listen well� ang advantage niya…)
 
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Host :Which part of your body is your best asset?
Contestant:(Believe it or not she answered)  Si Melanie Marquez po!
 
(Isa rin ‘to…)
 
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Host:What is your favorite motto?
Contestant :(After a long pause)  I don't have a motto eh.  (So the crowd starts helping  her out.  The crowd starts saying "Time is gold! Time is gold!)
Contestant :I have na po.  Chinese gold!
 
(‘Eto pa ang isa…)
 
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Host :If you were to describe the color blue to a blind person, how would you do it?
Contestant :That's a very good question.  Keep it up.
(Then the girl turns and walks away.)
 
(Wow, pare, astig sumagot!)
 
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Host : So, you're vegetarian, what is your favorite vegetable?
Contestant :I like potatoes, tomatoes, beans and what's that? KALABASH?
 
(Umuwi na dapat ‘to at nagtanim ng kalabash…)
 
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Most :   What is your motto?
Contestant : Actor!  (Everyone starts laughing.)  Aay, actress pala.
 
(‘Di rin.)
 
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Host : Who is your favorite fictional character?
Girl : JOSE RIZAL! (Crowd starts laughing.)
Host : Who is your favorite hero then?
Girl : Hulk Hogan.
 
(Pinay ba ‘to? Mukhang wrestler ng ibang bansa e.)
 
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Host : If you were to become a superhero, what would your power be?
Girl Contestant :Uhmm... a bumblebee!
 
(Powerful nga!)
 
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Host : What is your edge over the other contestants?
Girl Contestant :My edge.... 23 years old.
 
(May edge nga siya.)
 
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Host: What, in your opinion, is the ideal age for marriage?
Girl : Between 24 and 25!
 
(QA siguro ‘to, masyadong strict yung specs…. Peace mga QA!)
 
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Host : How do you see yourself 10 years from now?
Girl : I'll be 28.
 
(Eto naman malamang Microsoft technical support… sobrang literal.)
 
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Host : Describe your love one in three words.
Girl : Kahit nga po 1 word, kaya ko.
Host : OK, sige!
Girl : In one word, MY LIFE!
 
(Kayang-kaya nga!)
 
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Host : If you were given any special power, what would it be?
Girl: Power of Attorney!
 
(Malayo mararating nito!)
 
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Host : So you like reading, who's your favorite author?
Girl : Uhmm, Shakespeare.
Host : What works of Shakespeare?
Girl : Hindi ko po alam eh.
Host : But he's your favorite.
Girl : Eh kasi patay na sya eh.
 
(Mahirap maging favorite nito… para maging paborito, kailangan patay na!)
 
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Host: What is  the biggest problem facing the youth today?
Girl : Drugs.
Host : Why?
Girl : Mahal eh!
 
(Ayos, puwedeng-puwede maging role model!)
 
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Host : What is the essence of being gay?
Contestant : I'm proud to be gay because what is naked is essential to the eye!
 
(Palakpakan po!)
 
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Host :  What makes you blush?
Girl :  Blush on!
 
(Pasensiya na, di siya marunong ma-embarrass…)
 
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Host :   What is the essence of a man?
Gay Contestant  :  Testicles!
 
(Palakpakan po uli!)
 
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Host : Hey, I heard you almost didn't make it, how did you get here?  Did you ride or did you walk?
Gay Contestant : Of course, did you ride.  What do you think of me, did you walk?
 
(What you did you ride, jeep or taxi?)

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